So tonight as I was sitting on my couch, alone on our anniversary, trying to plan meals for the week my dad calls. My mother's surprise 50th birthday party that I helped plan was a success! Horray! But, we had failed to invite a couple that have been dear friends for years. My dad hadn't been real involved in the planning since his life is so busy, and I had tried so hard to think of everyone I could to invite and had given him the list, but he hadn't had time to really look over it. And they were forgotten. I felt awful. Then I tried to continue my meal planning for the week and was getting really excited because I could actually cook (unlike in Costa Rica where my supplies were limited), until I remembered that I didn't have any kitchen stuff to cook with (no bread pans, cookie sheets, 9x13, etc...) cause all our stuff is still in storage. Then all the feelings of wanting to find a house soon so that we can finally be permanent and have our own place came flooding in. I really started feeling down. I needed to call someone...but because of the time difference it was too late. I felt so alone. Then I remembered an email my husband sent to me earlier with this video clip. I just bawled. I thought back to my beautiful children earlier today laughing as they played in our rock and cactus backyard, scooping up those rocks as if they were sand. The amazing bouquet of flowers my husband sent me for our anniversary. Bree running to answer my phone when she heard it was "daddy's song" and telling him everything we did today and me having to beg her to give me the phone. Gabe saying, "Mom" every time you say, "Gabe say Dad." Bree being so excited about learning to ride her bike and the look on her face when she realized she could do the brakes....go, brake, smile, go, brake, smile... Gabe wanting to do EVERYTHING that Bree does, even when he wants on a turn on her bike he won't go unless he has on the flower helmet. Looking forward to seeing my husband after four days (way too long if you ask me!). But if life was always sweet and easy would I feel like I needed God? Elder Holland's comment from at the end of the clip, in "suffering we may in fact be nearer to God than we have been in our entire lives..." hit me so hard. My suffering is nothing compared to so many. Especially that sweet woman in the video clip. BUT, the stresses and trials of life do help me see the bigger picture, what life is really about. And if I'm learning what I am supposed to be learning, and becoming who God knows I can become, then through my trials I will grow closer to my Savior and my Father in Heaven. My new scripture for the month: "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up." (Doctrine and Covenants 88:84) Thank you Stephanie Nielson for reminding me.
And don't worry. I will do a good update with pictures soon :)