Harmon's Haven

Meet amazing dad Robbie, mother-in-training Jesika, 7 year old best big sister Bree, 5 year old boy in every way Gabe, 3 year old who thinks he's 10 years old who makes us all laugh McKay,
and 9 month old sweetest Quinn Marie...the Harmon Family!

Monday, March 7, 2011

~Musings of a mommy on bed rest~

Yes, it is true. It's day #33 of being on bed rest and let's just say it's been a roller coaster. It's amazing how many girls after learning that I am on bed rest have told me about when they were on bed rest, and for many of them far longer than I. It's been nice feeling like I'm not alone in this, and if they did it for FOUR months, I can do it for two, right? Bree and Gabe have been little troopers. Bree is surely the sweetest little girl on the planet: Getting a washcloth to wipe hers and Gabe's mouths, helping Gabe get his shoes, getting a diaper and wipies for me to change Gabe, getting them a snack, being so sweet to her brother...and almost always helping with "Oh sure mom!" and a happy attitude. Gabe has had a harder time dealing with mommy on the couch, but in his own sweet way has been such a good boy. He will be getting ready to go to a friend's house or something and will ask, "Mommy come too?" And I'll say, "I can't, remember..." and he'll say, "Doctor say no." And then cheerfully say, "Bye mommy!" as he runs out the door. And of course the #1 husband I have has been amazing...couldn't be more perfect. Honestly. I am so grateful for him, and honestly this would be so much harder if he didn't already help out so much anyway!

So for anyone who is curious about life on bed rest, I compiled a Top 10 Best and Worst List. (Let's be honest, I wouldn't be showing a truthful picture if I just highlighted the Top 10 good things!) So here is goes:

Top Ten WORST Things About Being On Bed Rest:

10. Finishing your "To Do" list (of all the things from like the past year I haven't been able to to finish!) and then wondering what else I can do that is productive...Robbie jokingly suggested starting an online business to make us some money (ummm, only half jokingly...he told me about a friend of his whose wife did that when she was on bed rest "and made them a ton of money"...I started trying to think of some ideas but it didn't take me long to think about what time I could spend on it after the baby comes?! Ha, I was feeling pretty productive until he suggested that!)
9. Having to look at stuff left out all over the house, not being able to pick it up or cook for my family or clean, but trying to remind myself that if I over do it and end up in labor my baby will be in the NICU and I will be sorry!
8. Watching moms, friends, and my husband do EVERYTHING!
7. Having an emotional breakdown after 1 month and realizing that I still have 1 month to go...and it seems like eternity!
6. Taking anti-contraction medication that makes you feel like you had "coffee on steroids" (that's seriously how the doctor described it!) and being all shaky with a head-ache!
5. Yearning...dying to go for at least a walk outside!
4. Wanting to do something to thank all of the people who are helping me but not being able to come up with anything other than measly thank you cards!
3. Feeling like every muscle in my body is turning to mush, trying not to think about all of the extra weight gain sitting on my rear all day, and thinking about how hard it is going to be getting back in shape!
2. Hearing your child say when grandma is trying to help, "No! Mommy help me!" and not being able to (and then hearing her carry him away to the bath screaming!).
1. Bascially the feeling that your emotional well being is slowly declining and you don't have any control over it!
Phew! Oh that was pretty negative. Sorry. But now, the
Top Ten BEST Things About Being On Bed Rest:

10. Having some time to do all of those things I have wanted to do for the past year! (Like Gabe's 1st Year baby book, plan and organize food storage, file and organize all the bill records and stuff in the filing cabinet (don't worry Robbie got it down for me), get everything planned and ready for baby to come, write some letters I have been feeling prompted to write, planning family holiday traditions, read some books, catch up on my blog, etc...)
9. Getting to take naps.
8. Doing a meaningful scripture study every day.
7. Getting totally caught up on the news! I love feeling like I am informed (even though I know after baby #3 comes it may be a really long time before I have time to read the news again!).
6. Catching up on family and friends' blogs (that I haven't looked at for so long!)
5. Seeing SO many people who are willing to help: take my children, bring meals, calling, sending texts, and checking up on me...it's been unbelievable.
4. Being able to actually answer my phone when friends and family call.
3. Learning to let things go (like what Bree is wearing when she goes out the door...this morning it was a black skirt, dark pink shirt, different shade of pink with cream polka-dots button-up sweater, white tights with a huge hole on the shin and a dirt mark on the other leg, silver shoes, and a wooden beaded necklace from the West Indies...at least we got her hair done.)
2. Having my kids return from playing somewhere or being out with grandma or something and come running through the door towards me on the couch, "Mommy we're home!" and giving me the biggest hugs like they haven't seen me for days :)
1. Gaining a new appreciation for how much I love to be a mom who gets to dedicate all of her time to her family and home. How much I love to help my children, cook for my family, exercise, have a clean house, and be normal! (Honestly I think after this baby comes out I will just cry when I can pick up Gabe and hold him...or when I first get to go running...)

Yes, it has been a roller-coaster. But I must remember:
D&C 58: 3-4

"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
For after much tribulation come the blessings..."

And my favorite by Elder Wirthlin:

"If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be the times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead to times of greatest happiness."

So for the next month (or less?) I'm going to try and focus on the Top 10 Best Things about this bed rest challenge :)


Autumn Crawford said...

You could craft while you're on bedrest. I was hospitalized recently for 4 days including the surgery day and discharge day and 9 people helped me out during that time, childcare, dinners for my family, and coordinating the childcare and dinners. When I got out I couldn't wait to thank them all so I wrote each one a thank you card and gave each woman a gift bag full of hair bows, headbands, and hairscrunchie things for girls that had embroidered things on them like carrots and tomatoes. So you could craft and give your crafts away as thank you's. For boys you could make bow ties, basically like a hair clip bow but out of boyish fabric and they clip them under their collar of a dress shirt or pollo shirt. Who is giving you a hard time about begin on bedrest?

Chelsea said...

Sorry to hear you are on bedrest...I didn't even know! Good luck surviving the last 4 weeks!!!! As for gaining extra weight...maybe this will give you a lift. A friend of mine on bedrest for 4 weeks ended up losing 5-6 pounds because it was such a hassle getting her own food. :) Looking on the bright side, right? But thanks for your musings on it...I'm sure they will help anyone going through the same thing!!!!

Angela said...

Oh my goodness! Bedrest sounds pretty frustrating...sorry to hear it. It sounds like you have found some consolation in your good list though! We'll keep you and Baby Harmon in our prayers.

Cara said...

Oh Jes, I've wondered how you were doing with this. While giving birth to Marin I injured myself and was laid up flat on my back for 8 weeks. I couldn't even lift my legs to get myself into the shower. Oh I about DIED! It's so hard to lie there and let everyone do everything for you and feel so helpless. So I know a little how you feel. Thankfully there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you'll be done soon. In the meantime, I'm sure you'll be the most productive person on bedrest ever because that's just how you are! And as for weight gain, I pretty much guarantee you are so much tinier than most pregnant people who exercise every day (including my big self, ha ha). But sheesh, why can't you just find an ingenious way to make a bunch of money while lying on the couch doing nothing? Then could you please tell me your secret? :)

elizabeth said...

Oh Jesika! I had no idea! I am so impressed by your positive outlook. Thank you for your sweet email, you have no idea how much that meant to me. I just tried calling your cell phone and then realized it might not be your number anymore. It is the Utah area code number that i have. You are in my prayers, if anyone can get through this you can!

krista jo said...

Jesika, I have been thinking of you! Lizzy told me about this, and I wondered what an active girl like you would do with this!

I have no advice . . . but isn't it amazing the things we will do for these little ones? Sounds like you are doing well, despite the craziness! Good luck with everything in these last weeks!

Natalie said...

I am so sorry you are on bed rest! That must be so hard. I will keep you in our prayers and hope that the new baby has plenty of time to cook!

Lenore said...

Jesika, you are awesome! I'm sorry I never responded to you about having 3 kids! It's a roller coaster, but it was amazing how much i just enjoyed my baby and how much Lily stepped up being an older sister and helped out. Sounds like Bree is just as much of a help! Remember that sweet little Gabe won't remember any of this time. It's heart-wretching and tough not being able to hold him and help him when he needs his Mommy, but this will be short-lived and SO WORTH IT!!!!!!

I was on bed-rest with Lily and I had those creeping doubts too where I felt like it would be ok to do a bit more. But it's not worth it! When I was on bed rest Dave and I only had rabbit-ears on our tv, so we only had Fox. It was "Judge Joe Brown" "Judge Judy" "Divorce Court"- it was the worst! I am glad you are filling your time with good, meaningful stuff! This may seem like forever, but you are doing the best thing for your family right now. I'm glad you live near grandma!

Heidi said...

Coming from someone who did bed rest and those AMAZING meds with two children -- Your top ten lists are pretty good!! Since I am over it, I can give you wonderful advice that I didn't follow at all .. be good, keep smiling and enjoy the rest and help .. real life will be back soon enough! Then you can put on your Wonder Woman cape and perfectly manage all aspects of life! ;) Hang in there!!

Marcee said...

Darn it Jesika! No fun! I had no idea! You are a trooper and I firmly believe it's perfectly OK and healthy to acknowledge the difficult along with the good, bitter and sweet, right? Anyway, I just wrote a blog post for you/inspired by you. So go check it out. And I just had another thing to add to your list. From what I've been able to gather so far, Gabe and Jane have some similarities in how they behave to strangers (even grandparents) and their attachments to their mommas to do things for them. Jane had a tough few months when Emiline was born because of all this because she didn't understand why I couldn't help her with things. Maybe this will be good for Gabe so that he'll have a kind of transition change before the baby comes. Maybe that will be easier on him and he won't associate mom not doing things with/for him with the new baby...??? Just a thought.

I hope you know how much I love and admire you. I always have, but the older I've gotten (and the more mature) the more I have come to appreciate your awesome strengths. You'll get through, and you'll look back and see the blessings of this time because that's who you are.

Much, much love and prayers heading your way!

Rosie said...

Oh my! I am so glad that you posted both lists. You have to understand both to appreciate how it really is, right? I wish that I could help you out. But maybe this will make you a little excited...we want to come visit you! We want to come look for dental practices and see you guys. It is still in the works but I thought that you would want to know:) You are my hero!

Doreen said...

Wow. I had no idea you've been on bed rest! I guess that's what 3 kids does to you...puts you way behind on the latest. I kept thinking if we lived by you guys, I'd put you in a stroller and take you for a walk. You wouldn't be able to stop me either. We got a new stroller that's like a Rolls Royce but the stroller version. It would be so fun. You could go running again...well, you'd be in the stroller and I'd be running and pushing you, but you could feel the wind through your hair again!